Monday, December 31, 2012

Everyone slips up

OK - I had be delaying this post. Hoping some miracle would fix it and I would never have to admit it. It would just go away. My weight loss journey has derailed. This is embarrassing.

I started out this year weighing in at 230 pounds.  I started doing MyFitnessPal and logging everything I ate and drank. I found out my biggest problem was portion control. I was losing weight like crazy, and some of my friends thought I just kidding. But when I started I was seeing big numbers drop off I think in the first 2 months I lost like 25 pounds. By the time I went to the beach in June I was down to 190lbs and feeling great!

Here is where the crash happened. I stopped doing MyFitnessPal.  It held me accountable, but it worked.  I started trying to guess where I was calorie-wise for the day. Estimate my portions. Guess what? I wasn't ready.

I put on 5 pounds, and justified to myself it was just my body leveling off.... then it was 10 pounds, and I thought that's not bad for just being careful on what I eat. Now today I am at 209lbs. I kept telling myself that its winter and I will be better in Spring, I can't exercise as much as I want to....etc.

You know what I found out... I'm a good liar, and I was in bad enough place that I wanted to believe the lies. When I justify I am still down over 20 pounds from where I started, no admitting that I am actually up 18 pounds from my lowest.... there is a problem.

I have a weak mind when it comes to food. It tastes so good. It can cheer you up. Heck you can drink your daily allowance of calories if you are not careful.... 1500 calories is not hard to do in this super sized Nation. Don't even get me started on sweets - they are my Nemesis. Schuler's is my drug dealer.

I am putting this out there to be held accountable. I need help. I want to get back to my 190lb self (or better). I felt great there. If you see me out and about and eating something I shouldn't, or thinking about buying junk I don't need - yell at me! I will no longer be the trash can after meals, if I don't want to throw it out I will save it in some Tupperware. I do not need to eat it.

No one likes to admit mistakes, but I screwed up. I got to be thin, liked it and lied to myself about maintaining it. I know life is a journey, and sometimes it is hard, but I do want to be healthier and lose the weight again.

There it is...

That is all I have to say about that.

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